oh ! english

An Ode to English Plurals

We’ll begin with a box and the plural is boxes

But the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes.

One fowl is a goose but two are called geese,

Yet the plural of moose would never be meese.

You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice

Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice!

If the plural of man is always called men,

Why shouldn’t the plural of pan be called pen?

If I speak of my foot and show you my feet

and I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?

If one is a tooth and a whole set is teeth,

Why shouldn’t the plural of booth be called

beeth?

Then ‘one’ may be that and ‘three’ would be those,

Yet hat in the plural would never be hose

And of course, the plural of cat is cats, not cose!

We speak of a brother and also of brethren

But though we say mother we never say methren.

Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him

But imagine the feminine: she, shis and shim!

Let s face it – English is a crazy language